You may be feeling lost right now and rather than improving you found yourself not having able to do well the things you used to be good at, at least as good as how you remembered the past. However, I suggest that you must not try to get ”yourself” back or recreate those things again, especially when there are lots of things in front of you.
Make also sure to have presence of mind when you are awake, and resolve all the responsibilities that you are committed to do. It may not be as fun as how you had in the past, but having presence of mind (and being attentive) can change how you perceive things.
And if you truly believe that you need to look back, then do it when you are only ready— meaning not to cheat as if you still think the past you is better than the present. Just wandering about the past can reduce mindfulness and it’s basically day-dreaming which is unlike from being attentive where you’ll be able to clearly see how to do next, regardless if you have done it or not before, as our mind actually creates how we can resolve or finish the tasks regardless if it is new or not to us.
Update The pandemic caused me to think how hopeless it would be to thrive thus, triggered me to focused on what I did in the past. I tried to bring it back, but was futile. But the situation was too different, and the plans I made to myself are almost no longer feasible. What I truly suggest is do something new and try to feel these new things. – Dec. 15, 2020
Meditations, Letters, and Metaphors 